HISTORY OF TAIGA MCGUINNESS

1837
The first electric telegraph is inevented

February 1st 1934
Taiga McGuinness is born

February 2nd 1935
He IMMEDIATELY gets to work

1936 
Whilst attending Stanford university, he becomes aquaintanced with Rupert, who will become important later

1939
He graduated cumloud, with a bachlors degree in microwaved foods.  

1946
after the war he enlists in the military, therefore being very late to the party

1949
he is promoted to drill sergeant

1950
he quits due to "enterprising reasons"

1950-1987
the dark ages

1987
after his failed crab fishing business, he sets his mind to acting, his lifelong hidden passion, and utilises his past experience as a drill sergeant for an audition to play the drill sergeant for stanley kubrick's acclaimed film "full metal jacket" (did not get role)

1989
buys his first microwave

1990
gets married (dont have to know who, stop being so nosy)

1991
loveless by my bloody valentine is released

1993
he gets divorced (none of your business

2004
nothing noteworthy happens

2022 he forms mannequins on a hat with his buddy, Hiromi

2023 onwards
he started practising the harmonica, will likely be very good at it by the end of his life